A heart really can break.

Yanno, I never quite understood why people chose the organ that they did to represent love and feelings towards people. I always thought that it was because we need it to survive and when the people we love leave or do something bad we feel like we are going to die. and i do think that might be a contributing factor. 
but  no one told me what really happens to your heart when it breaks. 
no one told me that your chest physically aches and burns non stop.
no one told me that when you see them again, even for a second,  you get another crack in your heart until you can bare no more. 
no one told me that it affects how you function. like how you don't want to move, eat, and talk to anyone for fear that you will shatter. 
no one told me that even when your not thinking of them, you are still thinking about them somehow. like they never even left your head. because your heart is still aching inside, like a constant reminder.
no one told me that falling asleep, the only ecape you have would be full of them. and would wake you up every morning wishing for nothing more but to be with them.
I can still carry out my day, thank god, I can act like a more conservative version of myself. 
you used to marvel at how i could go numb in these situations. 
but the truth is, I am so badly broken that if i even let myself show anything my life would have ended a wile ago. If i let you see my weakness I would never think myself strong. 
no one told me i would do ANYTHING to stop this! to just make my heart stop burning! 
no one told me it would get to this point.
no one told me how much the pain would intensify knowing that i did this willingly. that if it wasnt for me we would still be together. 
no one told me that i would want that poison more then this one. 
and the worst part is that I know even if i am now shattered and you are with her. that it was the best thing for us. and i would go through it all again the same way.
But No One Told Me.