My body aches, My chest burns, My thoughts betray me, My mood swings as much as a littler girl on a playground, But my eyes are dry…
I am at the edge of survival 24/7 but never will I jump, never will i shatter, so never will i be able to heal.
Its not even about just you anymore. its what i became without you. Its what i aloud myself to turn into. I am so secretly weak.
All i want is to cry.. please, just let me shatter, I'm ready.
I want to ball and ball and scream and destroy all in my wake and i want to hate and and fall and i want everyone to see me in a ball on the floor completely in pieces because thats how its supposed to go! thats what I'm supposed to do! So tell me, why can i not?
It used to just be in front of people that i couldn't but now even when i am intoxicated or alone my body refuses to react. I don't throw up, i don't cry I don't even feel pitty for myself. I kiss guys i don't want to because i know that is what is expected. I'm becoming immune to poisons. I am fully aware, I just sit and don't allow my eyes too close hoping to shed some sort of tear even from them drying out. but never does it come. never will i break or hit rock bottom so i can start getting better. I will just stay one inch away from the end and that is where is will remain..
No comments:
Post a Comment